Mordred's Truth
by Laura013
Summary: Mordred comes to terms with the loss of one of his loves, while long lamenting the loss of another. He realizes that he is in love with the kind and gentle Morgana who died years before, and was replaced by the monster she is today, and he sorrowfully misses his first love Kara. (SPOILERS to the finale, rated t to be safe) Enjoy!
1. Chapter 1

**Hi everyone! So basically, if you didn't understand from the summary, this is kind of like the end of the lost years for Mordred (so this is the Alexander Vlahos version of Mordred, not the Asa Butterfield version). It starts with when he first realises that Morgana is evil to the bone, and he isn't, and it's probably going to end somewhere between Kara's and his death (I'm not too sure yet) :) (I don't own the Merlin series or any of the characters)** **Enjoy! :)**

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I see Morgana. I think about who she used to be, compared to who she's become. I remember her beautiful smile that made me fall in love. It's nothing like the one she flashes me now, that looks so cynical and evil. Her eyes that used to sparkle with the absolute joy and love now shine with pure hatred. For ten years, I followed Morgana around like a love-sick puppy. She loved me the way a mother loved a son and I loved her the way a husband loved a wife. But I don't love Morgana Pendragon anymore. I mean, I do, I still get butterflies in my stomach like a knight during initiation whenever I see her face, but then I remember. I'm in love with who she used to be, not what she's become. I guess I have a type, women who go so far into dark magic the light inside them goes out. _Oh, Kara, _I think to myself, _where are you now? _I almost dream I hear an answer, but of course, I don't. She never answers my calls. I sigh. I watch as Morgana talks so emphatically with a guard. She used to be so beautiful, that grown men would drool. I mean, she still is beautiful now, and if she didn't behead them first, those grown men probably would still drool, but she isn't the same kind of beautiful. I mean, sure, her physical features are still mesmerising, but physical features aren't what make a girl beautiful. Physical features make a girl pretty. It's the sparkle, not the eyes that drew me in. It's the smile, not the lips, that I dreamed of kissing for ten whole years. When I think of Morgana, I think of the beautiful girl she used to be, not the monster she became. She reminds me so much of Kara. We were the talk of the town, me and her. We were the young love, the ones who wanted to run away and get married, no matter how young our age was. But Kara's interest in the dark magic tore us apart. We left each other after a huge fight. I wanted so badly to run after her, to apologise and tell her how much I loved her, but she was long gone. I recieved word seven years later of her capture and execution, but I know she isn't dead. I can still feel her bright energy, out there somewhere being defiant towards the Pendragons in her own small way. _Kara. Please. I am so sorry. Please come back to me. _I let out a sigh. I snap out of my bubble when I hear a loud snap. It's a guard, coming back with prisoners. I only see two, but that doesn't mean that there aren't more. Morgana motions for me to come.

"Well, hello Mordred!", Morgana says, putting her arm around me. It's easy to mistake her kind gesture for one of romance, and I have no care to find out. I step out from under her grasp with an insincere smile. "What have we here?" I say slowly. One of them, who has long brown hair and a matching beard, spits on my shoe. I kick him in the shin. I've done this so many times I don't even care anymore. The other prisoner, who's taller, shakes at his handcuffs as if he were going to throttle me. I laugh. So does Morgana. He has short blonde hair and differently fashioned chainmail that shows off his muscular arms. He growls. Morgana cackles. She runs her hands down the shorter man's chest, slowly undoing his chainmail. He makes a startled face, and when Morgana touches his bare chest, he looks aroused. I punch him in the jaw. "Oh, Gwaine," she says, with a smile. She suddenly becomes serious, and in a deadly voice, says, "Not today. Not ever." He visibly flinches. His lip is bleeding from my fist, and I smile. Morgana quickly undoes the other man's armour. She runs her hand down his arm, stopping to jokingly feel his bicep. He spits on her shoes. I notice the tall one has a thing for spitting. Morgana's smile disappears, and her eyes flash gold. The taller man doubles over, trying to clutch at his now-purpling stomach, but he finds his hands are still cuffed. The one called Gwaine tries to reach for the tall one, but can't, as his hands are cuffed. "Percival?" Gwaine says unsurely. Percival is unable to respond, and Gwaine does everything he can to help. Morgana laughs. "Aww," she says, "Young love!" I flinch at those words, then I realize she isn't talking to me. Gwaine snarls. Morgana calls a guard to take them down to the mines. "What are you looking for there, Morgana?" I ask. She shakes her head. "Now isn't the time, young Mordred." I've always hated how she calls me "Young Mordred", patronising me, like I'm a son to her. It's always reminded me of the clear age difference between us, which I tried so hard to make her forget. "Come, dine with me!", she says, grabbing my hand like a child who spotted a butterfly. She drags me to the table. "I've always hated this table.", she says, sitting down at the round table. "I mean, I'm the queen. Why should I have to sit as equals with everyone?" She continues to ramble, while I lose focus of the conversation, drifting off into old memories.

_"Mordred, don't you care about me?" Kara said demeaningly. "I do, Kara. Please. Don't do this." I said. "I have to. We have to end the Pendragon dynasty. Then we can be free." She suddenly sounded less determined and more soothing. "Mordred. Once magic is allowed, we can start a life again. We can have a family." The sudden rush of events was so much for my head. I couldn't process what she was saying. We could be together. We could get married and someday have a child in peace. I wanted that more than anything. We agreed when we reached adulthood that we wouldn't have children, it was too dangerous if we got caught. We agreed watching our child be executed would be too painful. But Kara knew that in a better world, I would have dared to dream of having a daughter someday, and I realized she was playing my weakness. "Kara, don't." I said. "I don't want anyone to get hurt." She looked offended. "Mordred, don't you love me?" She said. She sounded so childish, like the child she truly was, like we truly were. The whole conversation was so childish, but I couldn't see it. Her comment stung me right in the heart, like a scorpion. "Of course I do, Kara. I just don't want you to get hurt." I said. "It hurts more to stay behind, knowing that I can't be free, than it will to die." She ran off with a blaze. "But I don't want you to die." I whispered after her._

"Mordred?" Morgana says, snapping me out of my painful memory. I feel a cool line down one cheek. I lift my hand and realize I let a tear fall. I don't cry. I never cry. At least, not in front of other people. "Are you alright? You've hardly touched your food.", she says, putting her hand on my arm. Her touch feels so warm, reminding me of old times. I want, more than anything, for those times to come back.


	2. Chapter 2

**(I don't own the Merlin series or any of the characters)**

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"Who's Kara?" Morgana prodded a tomato with her fork as she spoke. I leapt out of my thoughts and back into reality. Who is Kara? I think to myself. Who is Kara? She's everthing to me. She IS me. She's my other half and I don't know how I have survived without her. My answer shocks myself. How have I lived without Kara? It hasn't occured to me before, but I haven't lived without Kara. Sure, I'm breathing, but this isn't at all what I would call living. I'm going through the motions. Both of the women I loved are gone and I have tried to put off how much that hurt me. After Morgana is queen, I can find Kara. But then what? I realize as I sit here at this table that I don't want to live in a world where Morgana was queen. I wouldn't want to raise a child in a world where Morgana is queen. Our lives would be just as much at stake in this world. Her execution would be just as possible, just as painful, if not more, because Morgana would be the one with the axe. I sigh. I feel a hand on my shoulder. The touch of the hand feels cold. I snap out of my head. "Mordred?" Morgana's voice sounds so soothing and for just a moment I can see her old, beautiful smile. Her evil smirk replaces the view. "There you are. Now. Tell me about this Kara girl." She sounds so menacing and I feel the usual prolonged sense of longing that greets me every morning and tucks me in bed every night. "She's no one." I lie. She is everything to me. I hope Morgana hears it, and by the look on her face, she does. She frowns. "She must mean a lot to you." Morgana looks genuinely concerned for my well-being, which reminds me of the labourers she has just below us.

"I got a message from the slave-trader this morning." Morgana says. "Says he has something interesting. Go meet him, Mordred." I nod. I excuse myself to go and change. Oh Kara, where are you now? I wait patiently for a response, even though I know I will never hear one.

I leave down the road. I run through the trees, stopping only once to pick a daisy. I know it sounds dumb, but they were Kara's favorite. I want to have one with me if I run into her, so I try to have one with me as much as possible. I break the clearing and see King Arthur and Emrys tied up in a net. I wish I could capture the moment to show Morgana, she would smile. Maybe I'll draw it for her later. I see the slave capturer starting to cut them down. Emrys. I sat. I see him flinch. Mordred? He whispers. I don't respond. "Alright, it's time to-" I cut the slave trader off. "Morgana will want to see these two." I say, coming out from behind the trees. Emrys gapes, while Arthur frowns. "I'll take them back with me." I say calmly. I try my hardest to keep a straight face. The slave-trader frowns. "No, they're mine. They come with me." He sounds so arrogant, I just want to punch him in the jaw. But I don't. "Then you'll have Morgana Pendragon to answer to." I try to stay calm. He scowls. "Fineee." He says, sounding chidlish. He cuts down the net and tyes up King Arthur, but much more importantly, Emrys.


	3. Chapter 3

**I hope everyone enjoyed the first two chapters, here's the third one :) Please review! I want to know what you all (you all being my one follower :P) think! Thanks for reading!(I don't own the Merlin series, unfortunately, or any of the characters) :) enjoy**

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I trudge along the snow, dragging my feet. We come to the edge of a cliff, littered with bodies of Camelot Knights. The sun hits my eyes, and for a moment, I don't see knights, I see Druids. My mother, my father, my family, my friends, and right at my feet is Kara. I take a shaky breath. "C'mon boy. 'ts just a battle scene. Y' had to've seen w'rse livin' w' the Lady Morgana." I don't respond. All I can do is concentrate on breathing and keeping my feet moving. I blink and shake my head. I see not Kara, but a knight at my feet. I sigh a breath of relief. _Who's Kara? _Morgana's words run over and over through my head. _Who is she? _And I realise, I don't know. I haven't seen her in so long, I don't know what she's become. But I know what I can tell Morgana. _She's just like you, Morgana. She's a girl that lost sight of what made her so beautiful. She's a dream that became a nightmare. She's a girl who I fell in love with, all those years ago. Just like you, Morgana. I fell in love with her, just like I fell in love with you. _I hope she hears it, and I think she does. By the look on Merlin's face, I'd say he hears it too. I can feel his eyes on the back of my head. _Why do you still follow her? She isn't the same girl anymore. _I sigh. Merlin's right. She isn't the same. _I guess I still have hope. After all this time, I guess I still hope to see her old smile again. _Merlin nodded. _I understand. _I nod. We turn a corner and for a moment I catch a glimpse of his face. He looks sad, not just because he's tied to the back of a horse along with King Arthur, but because, for a moment, I think he understands. And I find new respect for Emrys.

_Mordred? Are you all right? _I hear Morgana's voice call out in my mind. _Yes, Lady Morgana. I have two high-priority prisoners on their way to visit you. _I sigh. I feel a little bad handing Merlin and Arthur over, after how understanding Merlin was. Maybe I'll be free once Arthur's dead. That's enough to keep me going, for now. Maybe this Hell will be over some day. I can almost hear Morgana's laugh. It sends chills down my spine. _Good, good. Are they who I think they are? _She sounds so cynical. _Yes, Morgana._ She laughs again. _Good. Come fast, Mordred. I await your return. _I close my eyes. I can see the road. "This way." I say. I hear a cry from behind me, followed by a voice. "We need to stop!" It's Emrys. I roll my eyes, then turn. "Why's th't, boy?" The slave trader pulls a flask from his jacket and pours dark brown liquid into his mouth. I sigh. "Stop!" I yell. The slave-trader chokes. "You don' call the orders here, boy. Keep going!" He glares at me. "Stop!" I yell. He growls. "The Lady Morgana wants them to come to her alive. Stop!" The man looks murderously at me, but it doesn't scare me. Living with Morgana, I've seen that look more times than I care to count. We stop.

"Arthur needs food." Merlin is right behind me. "No. Sorry. I've done enough." I say coldly. Merlin obviously won't take no for an answer. "He _needs _food." I sigh. "I'll see what I can do." Arthur looks so helpless, but all I can do is smile. Morgana will be happy. _But will I be happy? _The voice in the back of my head never stops bothering me. I have to consider my options. I could help Morgana, like I have been. I would have a better chance of finding Kara alive if I helped Morgana. Or, I could help Emrys, which would benefit me more, him being more powerful than Morgana, but I wouldn't be able to use magic, or to search for Kara. But, I could try to protect Kara if she fell into Arthur's hands. But, how do I know they will trust me? I sigh. It seems I'm stuck with Morgana for now. I walk over to the slave-trader and start talking to him, trying to see if I can find a way to get two pieces of bread off of him. He doesn't want to talk, and he lies down to sleep. I sit on a piece of wood, lost in thought. I see the bread, sticking out of his bag. Merlin and Arthur are asleep, as are the rest of the prisoners. I silently tread over to the bag of food. Using magic, I slide two pieces of bread out of the bag. No one notices. I hold the pieces of bread to my heart, hoping they will warm it. They don't. I tap Merlin on the shoulder and thrust the bread into his hands. Merlin curtly nods and we share some words. I turn my head and fall into a disturbed sleep.

When I wake, everyone is ready to go. Arthur and Merlin are tied in, and Arthur looks at me with gratitude. We begin to walk. The events of the next minute happen so fast, I don't quite process what is going on until I see Arthur and Merlin running free, armed with weapons. I frown, but am unable to reach them in time. I let out a breath of relief. I don't have to send King Arthur and Emrys to their impending dooms. The slave-trader and I chase after them, along with some of his men. _Morgana. We have a little trouble. We will be late. _I imagine her scowling. _Come as fast as possible, Mordred. _I continue to run. I see them on the other side of the chasm. Arthur has a crossbow, and he has shot the slave-trader. He sees me, and Merlin tells him to fire. "Run!" I yell across the chasm. Arthur drops the bow and runs, followed by a hesitant Merlin. I sigh my relief. Maybe they will trust me now. _Morgana! They head for the dark tower now. I will follow._ She laughs in my brain. _Good. See you soon._

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**Sorry this chapter is bad! I have had ****_horrible _****writer's block all day, but I wanted to get another chapter out. More coming soon!**


	4. Chapter 4

**Oh my gosh, sorry! I forgot about this story, I've been writing so many others, and it just slipped my mind! Okay, so for this chapter, it skips ahead a bit to the episode "With All My Heart" where Mordred helps Arthur and Merlin cleanse Guinevere. Enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own the Merlin series or any of the characters.**

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I sit on my bed. It's been a few weeks since I was knighted, and I see why they all complain. Being a knight is _hard. _I am glad to do the work, however. Arthur is a good man, and for the first time in ten years, I have been truly happy to be following a Pendragon. I still can't believe it, though. I'm fighting for the person who I have been brought up to hate. My family would hate me. _Kara _would hate me. _Oh Kara, where are you now? _I had looked through the Camelot records. There hadn't been any executions of female druids since the last time I heard of Kara, so she wasn't killed in Camelot. It had been in Cenred's kingdom, however, where I'd heard of her execution, so she may have been killed elsewhere. That doesn't mean I gave up. You don't give up on someone you love. Just then, someone knocked on my door. I opened it, and found Leon staring at me. Leon was an interesting character. He had always had this sort of sense about him that set him apart from the other knights. He was... _different. _If I didn't know better, I would mistake him for one with magic.

"Arthur wants to speak with the two of us." Leon looked grim. He had a long scratch down one cheek and a burn that stuck out of his armour just a tad, but besides that, he looked perfectly healthy. I don't know why he was so upset. He began to walk and I followed him. We walked down corridors I was unfamiliar with, and I was curious as to why Arthur was being so secretive. We arrived at a small wooden door and Leon knocked. Arthur poked his head out of the small space he allowed the door to open. He looked to his left, and then to his right, and when he saw that we were alone, he let us in with a sigh of relief. "Ah, Leon, Mordred." I bowed my head. "Sire." Leon copied my actions. Arthur locked the door and pulled out a map. It showed a root. "This is the new levy route. Commit it to memory." We nodded. "But this is an extra days ride. Why are you changing it?" Arthur frowned. Just then, I noticed the pain in his eyes. That was a look that I was familiar with, because it greeted me in the mirror every morning. He had lost someone he loved. I opened my mouth to ask what was wrong, but then I remembered I wasn't there to be his friend. I was his knight, his inferior. "Just trust me." I frowned. He grabbed a lit torch, and burned the map. I frowned harder, and my thoughts were reflected off of Leon's face. He nods hesitantly. "Yes sire." I head back for my room.

That night, I received another visitor. Gwaine was at my door at precisely 6:30. I couldn't help but smile. By the look on his face, I knew exactly what he wanted. "Tavern?" He wiggled his eyebrows. I laughed. "I'm coming, give me a second." I grab my red cloak, strapping it around my neck. We head out, after I lock my door. On our way out, we ran into Gaius and Merlin, who was pushing a very heavy looking wheelbarrow of linens. Gwaine shoots me a mirthful look and I try not to smile. "What's in the 'barrow?" His eyebrows wiggle again. "Linens?" He asks. I lean down to pick one up when Gaius shouts. "A man just died in these clothes! They need to be burned immediately, or we'll have an outbreak of Red Thrush Fever!" Gwaine frowned. "I've never heard of it." Gaius sighed. "Then you are very lucky indeed. Now, gentlemen, these must be burned or we'll have an outbreak. Do you want that or not?" Gwaine frowned. "No-o." Gaius smiled. We walked around him, and Gwaine turned. "What was the name of the unfortunate man, so I can send something to his family." Gaius thought a minute too long, which re-aroused my previous suspicions. "Timothy." He finally spoke. Merlin ran out of the hallway, and just before he turned, a human hand slid from the linen. I recognized the sleevework to be one of Queen Guinevere's dresses. I frowned.

"Gwaine, go on without me." He pouted like a child. "But.. Tavern! Alcohol! Maidens!" His hands waived emphatically at me as he talked. He winked at me. "Go on without me." I whispered it again. This situation was too curious not to be examined. Gwaine sighed and turned and left hesitantly. I ran back for my chambers. I grabbed a small bag and threw in three pieces of bread and a cantine of water. I grabbed my sword and my dagger. I turned to leave, when I saw something catch my eye. It was a rope. Something in my heart told me to bring the rope. I grabbed it and shoved it in my bag before turning out of my room. I followed Merlin and Gaius to the edge of a clearing, where I hid. I saw Arthur there, with two horses. My horse was tied, back about five feet. Arthur dug through the linen barrel and pulled out a female body. _So it was Queen Guinevere. _I was appalled by the condition she was in. She was completely unconscious and her dress was wrinkled. I was surprised that Arthur let her be that way. He hoisted her up on to his horse, climbing on behind her. Poor Merlin looked completely weighed down by all of his and Arthur's things. He climbed onto his horse. They rode off. Gaius watched them for a moment before coming back down the path. I dove into the bushes, hoping he didn't see me. He obviously saw something, because he looked back at the bushes. He made eye contact with me, but he let his eyes skim over me and he turned and left. I sighed my relief.

I mounted my horse and followed Merlin and Arthur to an edgy cliff. They dismounted their horses, leading them across the rocky edge. I dismounted. Merlin tottered down the edge, looking like he was going to fall. Arthur looked stable, but Guinevere probably weighed less than all of that gear. They were talking, complaining I think. Arthur said something to Merlin, and Merlin started to respond, but he fell off the side. Arthur frowned and turned. I ducked behind a rock and he didn't see me, but I think he wouldn't have noticed me even if I didn't duck. He was staring dumbfounded over the edge at the body of his servant, lying on the rocks. He lay Guinevere down and he started to scale the cliff. A rock fell, causing Arthur to lose his grip. He fell down and a rock landed on his arm. I began to run for the edge of the cliff where he fell, but I was about half a mile away, so it took a while for me to get there. When I arrived at the edge of the cliff face, Arthur was holding his sword. His other arm was pinned under a rock. I realized what he was doing, and I knew I had to give up my alibi of being back in Camelot. "Arthur!" I yelled as he went to cut off his arm. He dropped the sword. He smiled and sighed loudly his relief. "Mordred!" He sounded astounded. I smiled. I was glad I had brought the rope. I tossed it down and Arthur helped me pull the rock off of him. He grabbed Merlin and made the steep climb. Merlin woke up, and I explained what I was doing.

"You don't trust me, do you." I sat down next to Merlin as Arthur administered the next dose of Belladonna to his wife. Merlin glared at me. "I think you're a... fine knight." I sighed. "I am loyal to Arthur. He is a fine king. I just hope someday I can prove that to you." Merlin didn't respond. Arthur came back. We all settled down to go to sleep. The next morning, Merlin has the bags all ready and Arthur is still sleeping. He administers another dose of Belladonna. I start trying to speak to him, but then Arthur wakes up, and we head down the road. After a few hours, I feel heat on my back and I hear a roar. A white dragon flies behind me and we head for the gorge. Merlin immediately pipes up. "I'll distract it. You guys go on." While I can sort of see where Merlin is coming from, Arthur is astounded. "No." Arthur obviously thinks his servant is crazy. "Arthur, get Guinevere to safety. Merlin and I will try to divert it." Arthur starts to object, but he sees reason and runs. Merlin runs out faster than I can think. He begins to speak in a language I've only heard in legends. _That sounds like the speak of the Dragonlords,_ I think to myself. The dragon, sure enough, turns.

I stare at Merlin, gaping. "Come on, we don't have much time until it comes back. I run after him, determined to ask how he did that. I open my mouth to yell after him, when suddenly a force hits me so hard we both go flying. It knocks the breath out of me. I lie on the floor. I see a face. The name that belongs to the face runs through my mind over and over again, along with the thought of absolute shock and horror. _Morgana. _


	5. Chapter 5

**Okay, hi everyone! Sorry, it's been WAY too long since I updated this! Okay, so I wanted to say that this chapter does skip ahead a bit, to when they are back home, so it's before the Catha incident, but I'm not actually going to write about the Catha incident, because I wasn't the biggest fan of it. **

**Summary: Merlin and Mordred have a talk about Morgana Pendragon (among a few other things)**

**Disclaimer: I don't own the Merlin series or any of the characters**

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_"Morgana" The name echoed off my tongue like a waterfall. Her face, oh her face. I filled with an icy warmth. It felt so falsified, but it had been my home. But then I remembered that wasn't my home anymore. I had to force the words from my mouth. "Why don't you just kill me?" A look filled her eyes that a more hopeful me would've mistaken for love, but I knew better. Pity danced across her face, and it hurt. The memories were too much for me. Her happy smile, her beautiful face. I had to blink back tears. She smiled at me. No, smile was the wrong word. It was more like a grimace. The grimace tore through my thoughts and filled me with a chill so deep I didn't think I'd ever shake it off. _

"Mordred." Merlin cut me out of the memory. I brought my hand to my face and my cheek felt damp. I realised I'd been crying. I wiped my tears furiously. "Come in." The young warlock opened the door. He shut the door behind him. By the look on his face, it was obvious I hadn't done a very good job hiding my tears. He nodded understandingly. "Thinking about Morgana, are we?" The look on his face could have given me a paper cut it was so sharp. It cut into me, and I turned to hide the pain. I didn't turn enough. "She was evil, Mordred." This time, he provoked something in me, and it angered me. "She was a good person. Everyone loved her." My voice broke off. Something in Merlin changed. He lost the look of bitterness and now he looked sad. "Not like you did." He stepped closer. I turned further, fighting to hold back the tears. "You love her, Mordred. In a way you shouldn't." He looked sad. "Not anymore." I whispered the words, hoping he wouldn't hear it. I turned, looking right at Merlin. "Not the way you think." I felt the steely calm fall over me. I fought to keep my face still. Merlin looked slightly disappointed. I sighed, but the sigh definitely wasn't relief. I wanted someone to know, so badly, how I felt. I wanted someone to know, maybe not about Morgana, but Kara.

_Kara, please. Please._

"Who's Kara?" I jumped, falling over the other side of the bed. I stood up curtly. I stared at Merlin, shock and horror flooding my face. _How? _"I can hear you, you know. When you call out to her. It's alright, Mordred. You can tell me." I didn't move. I _couldn't _move. I couldn't breathe. My eyes widened. I stepped back from Merlin, hitting the window. I kept shaking my head. I thought I was going to be sick. "Go." I whispered. He frowned. "Go." My voice was slightly stronger. He sighed and left the room. Quivering, I sat down. I caught my breath. Just then, someone knocked at my door. I stood up hastily, opening it. It was Leon. He opened his mouth to speak, but then closed it, frowning at me. I shook my head almost inconceivably, but he noticed. "Patrols." I nodded. "You.. might want to wash up first." I nodded again. "Thanks." I wiped my face with a cloth and headed out after the older man.

"Saxons." Arthur turned and spoke. Patrols had been on for about an hour and so far, nothing. The castle was my home now. I was still struggling to get that through my head. When I think of home, I think of Kara, and our special place.

_"It's just up ahead, Mordred! Just a little further." My breath was getting smaller and smaller. I stopped a moment and panted. I saw the beautiful Kara turn around, her face so young and innocent, and she ran back to me. She had always been stronger than me, and while it usually bothered me, I had grown to respect it. She slid her small hand into mine and looked at me with a smile. "Come on, Mordred. We'll take the last steps together." She helped me up the steep slope. Just then, we came upon a place in the hills, in the center of Camelot. Leaves blocked the entrance, but Kara pushed them aside, pulling me in with her. I smiled. She turned to me with a small step. "What do you think?" She looked nervous. I sighed in peace. "It's perfect." I put my arm around her, kissing her temple. She pulled me around to behind the stone wall, and I saw a small collection of leaves. "We can play here." She sounded so innocent and I remembered how much I loved her. We played in the leaves for a while until she sat next to me. She rested her head on my shoulder and fell asleep. I looked down at her face and smiled. _

Leaves rustling broke me out of the memory. At first I was annoyed, because the person had broken me out of a happy memory. Then I remembered why I was there. I was a knight of Camelot, and it was my job to capture this runaway. I drew my sword and ran after the person. It was a woman, judging by her cloak and step, and I was confident I could easily outrun her. I was right. Shortly after, she tripped, and turned her face to see her captor. My shock was reflected in her eyes. I couldn't move. I gasped. "Go," escaped my mouth before I could react. It was _Kara._


	6. Chapter 6

**Hello dearies! I'm off of hiatus early! Four more chapters! Enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own the Merlin series or any of the characters (hell, if I did, I'd be writing series six like, yesterday, rather than fanfiction)**

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My head and heart pounded in unison. It was _her. She_ was sitting right there in front of me. My eyes widen and I feel scared. Before I get the chance to react, I hear the footsteps of some grumbling knights behind me.

"Go! Kara, run!" I motion for her to go. I help her up, my fingers brushing lightly over her cloak. I never thought I'd see her again. Just then, Merlin stumbles on the scene. I see Kara's face as she runs, and she recognizes Emrys for who he is. She's gone before anyone can see her. Merlin looks suspicious, but I brush it off. I tell Arthur I thought I saw someone, but it was just a deer.

"Come on, Arthur. It was no one. Let's go." We ride home.

*#*#*

"Goodnight, Gwaine."

"Goodnight, Mordred." I close my door and lie down on my bed, and for the first time since I left her behind, I smile. _Kara's back._

*#*#*

I creep silently among the halls, forbidden by the guard. Outside of Gaius's chambers, I wait. I wait for Merlin, and Gaius, and whoever else is in there. I wait impatiently. I've waited ten years for Kara, I can barely wait a minute more. Finally, after what feels like hours, Gaius and Merlin leave. I barrel in silently. Rummaging through the cabinets, I find what I'm looking for. I smile again, stashing the medicine in my belt. I make for the forest, and for the first time, I dare to hope.

*#*#*

_This is where we planned to meet..._ Oddly, I feel calm. It's like the calm before the storm.

_Kara._ I've said the name so many times I don't expect to hear back from her. I begin to turn around when I hear the voice I've so longed to hear.

_Mordred._ I let out a sigh of relief that has been contained in my heart for ten years. I smile from ear to ear as I begin to walk. My pace quickens to a run. _I'm going to see Kara._ I still can't believe it myself. My beautiful Kara, and I get to see her again. I have never felt so lucky in my whole life. I come into a clearing and I see a small brown cloak draped over a girl who's face rings every bell in my brain.

"Kara." I whisper, and the tears begin to fall. I run towards her, barely able to contain my excitement. The building potential energy in my body that has been climatically increasing finally breaks. The storm falls. She smiles at me, and I realise just how much I missed her. I try to contain the excitement in my arms and I lean down and hug her. I hold her close to me, making up for all of the hugs I have missed over the years. She pulls back with a smile.

"Could you believe…" She trails off. I shake my head with a feeble 'no'.

"If it hadn't been you…" She trails off again.

"I know." I whisper it again. "Your leg?" She reassures me it isn't deep. I apply the medicine softly, careful not to hurt her. She pulls back cautiously and I feel it in my heart like the turn of a knife.

"Camelot. Why, Mordred?" I realise why she is distraught. I wear the symbol of her enemy. _I only wanted to protect you, _I want to say. But I don't.

"Arthur is a good man."

"I can't believe you'd say that."

"You don't know him."

"He's your friend?"

"Yes." She looks shocked. She doesn't believe me. I sigh with a painful blink. I squeeze my eyes shut in shame. _Why are we fighting again? I swore never to hurt you._ I don't realise she is talking. She tells me of what I am, that I'm a druid and I cannot be in Camelot.

"I believe in Arthur. One day, it will change. You're safe here." I stroke her cheek softly. "No one will harm you, I promise." I put my other hand on her other cheek and her forehead presses to mine automatically, just like I used to. I wish things were like they used to be. I wait a minute, and cautiously press my lips to hers. Maybe it can't hurt to pretend for a bit. Maybe.


End file.
